All or Nothing.

We took Willy to the clinic yesterday for his follow-up diagnostics to try to figure out his head-shaking.  He had radiographs of his head and an endoscope. Almost everything appeared perfectly normal. My vet did think that his C1 vertebra appeared "flattened and degenerative" but he wanted a radiologist to look at them. So, the radiographs have been sent to St. Hye for their opinion. In the meantime, I'm advised not to ride since it could be dangerous if he does have spinal issues.

I've looked over all the radiiographs on the CD they gave me. Naturally, I didn't understand a thing I was looking at, at first. But after consulting a few reference documents I can at least tell what structures I'm looking at now. I obviously don't have the skill to see anything that is possibly degenerative.

C1 and C2. C2 looks like a parrot head.

Either way, this isn't good news. A lot depends on what the specialists say, but if there is an issue with his C1 than it's likely the end of Will's work under saddle. What happens from there will depend on how much pain they/we think he is experiencing.

If it comes back with nothing, I still have the headshaking with no explanation despite all those diagnostics.  Logically, I know it makes no sense to continue with him if he's got an issue like that, especially not purchase him. But I can't imagine my life without him. What if it resolves? What if I just need to look elsewhere for a cause, like allergies.  I can't imagine how completely everything would change in my life if I had to decide I couldn't/shouldn't continue with him. I don't think I'd want to jump into another lease and certainly I am more shy than ever to purchase a horse I don't know well.

I'm trying hard to stay positive but it seems that it's a bad situation no matter which way it goes. It would be almost easier if there was a spinal problem - then at least the decisions would effectively be made for me.

I should hear back early next week. I guess I will take it from there.

Armchair Veterinarians

I'm sure we have all met and/or had personal experience with armchair veterinarians. Before now, I hadn't really had intense personal encounters with this in the horse world. Brumby's veterinary issues were not for me to consider, let alone hypothesize about - not because I didn't want to be involved but because his owner did not welcome my thoughts, despite the fact I spent at least as much time with him as she did. Perhaps I myself came across as an armchair veterinarian. Of course, I will say this is doubtful!

In the begining, I was good-spirited about people's ideas and suggestions as to what was wrong with Willy. His owners and I had pretty much discussed every possibility by the time Dr. B was out the last time, so no one really presented anything new. Still, they meant well and I graciously discussed possibilities with those who started the conversation about it. I myself had stopped discussing it without provocation with all but a few - his owners, my coach, and a boarder I trust.

The problem became that I was/am "provoked" for information a lot. I don't do well when it comes to withholding information, so I tend to tell everything like it is - even when it would probably be best if I said less (to quell the humour-mill). And my barn is pretty low on the rumour-mill scale - one reason I like it so much!

It seems everyone has their favorite theory about what is wrong with Willy. Never mind the fact that I've already wracked my brain considering every possibility, spoken with knowledgeable people I trust, and - most importantly - sought veterinary advice on multiple occasions. everyone still seems to think they have the answer.

I admit I am growing tired of hearing how all I have to do is have the chiropractor out or that "all horses do that."  Then there are those who think I'm not asking for enough focus during rides (explain then why his issues resolve under saddle and why he does it during turnout).  I have not closed my mind to any possibility but I really do not need to hear about everyone's pet theory every time I see them. Considering I'm at the barn almost every day, that amounts to a lot of opinions! It amazes me that people seem miffed when I say I am going to follow my veterinarian's recommended course of action.

Anyway, Will was supposed to be at the clinic all day today but they had to cancel because my vet had to be out of town. I was able to reschedule for next Tuesday. Not ideal, but it's the earliest we could manage with my work schedule and the Easter weekend.

On a happier note...

Video of the not-so-orphaned filly 'Ari' (Aristocratic Lady) and her surrogatge mama, Annie. Annie still looks a little rough but she has definitely cleaned up a lot since coming to our barn. I don't think she stopped eating for the first three days (except maybe to drink lots of water)!  She is a very sweet mare who takes everything in stride and definitely thinks this new little one belongs to her! Nature is truly amazing.

 Ari - sleep to canter transition.Camera pans
to show new mama Annie and then Gemstone, in
another pasture, who is overly keen on the baby.

The Ides of March

It has not been a good horse month. Last night, my barn lost their prized mare. She had delivered a beautiful filly less than 24 hours before she died and both were bright and doing well. 

We had been hanging around watching mom and baby for close to 2 hours just enjoying the antics of the little one and taking some care of her. 

Filly sleeping standing up. 

In case some of you guys can hear the voices - that's the barn/filly owner asking if I want to "wrassle" a baby and I respond "hell ya." I do not want anyone to misinterpret! She was talking about having me hold the filly while she applied some vaseline to her anus and underside of tail. I was really excited to get to hold the baby so close.

The mare went from looking amazing, to showing discomfort, to dead, in about 30 minutes. There was nothing wrong with her reproductive organs at all, so Dr. B thinks it was likely an aortic rupture or blood clot. I was consumed with trying to help without being in the way. Mostly I took the hard task of telling people as they arrived so the barn owners wouldn’t have to.  Then I assisted while they tried to get the filly to nurse from a bottle. 

That mare was the heart of the farm. 

This comes only 2 weeks after they lost a 3 year old mare to guttural pouch mycosis. Another horrible, fast, and tragic death.  The only positive is that, in these cases, neither could be predicted and neither mare would have suffered.

That brings me to my mystery gelding. Dr. B was out to see him on Sunday. I carefully described all of the behaviours that started up after he was out to see Willy in February. His mouth is fine, so the bit issue seems resolved and Dr.B wonders if wasn’t a metal allergy as he thought but perhaps a symptom of something else (given the new behaviours not present at the time). His sinuses sound clear and there are no other clinical signs to suggest what the problem is. I was assured that everything I describe is a clear pain response. He mentioned several times the possibility of a mass in his brain - I think he was preparing me.  For now, I wait for the results of his blood work (should be today). If nothing unusual shows up there he will be heading to the clinic for a few days to have a head x-ray and scope. I also want to get the chiropractor out but I think it’s better to get the vetting done first. 

*Update. Blood results show nothing abnormal so Willy will be going to the clinic for further diagnostics...as soon as I can bare to mention it to two owners who have been up for days with foaling and then trying to feed an orphan filly...

For now, we can watch bits of our first-ever free-lunging session. He was pretty super, in my opinion. I was not so good with camera handling as I was (legitimately) more concerned about properly lunging him. *Dizziness warning - there are a few moments of potentially nausea inducing camera tilts. Sorry!

Trot

Canter

Coming up for air…

As promised, work has been rather insane this month. I’ve worked 18 out of the last 20 days and many of those days were 12-16 hour days. This included work travel which was almost 24/7 work for 5 days. I can honestly say I haven’t worked that long/hard since grad school. Dislike!

This was the bed I had to sleep in on my work trip last week. 

The food wasn’t much better.

On a positive note, I have 3 days off before starting the next stretch of almost no time off. I started last night by catching up on some email. I’ve dropped the ball on a couple things but I’m trying to pick them up again. I’m not used to making mistakes, so it’s been a hard go in that respect.

The issues I’ve had with Willy and his bit sensitivity/mouth issues have, unfortunately, not been resolved. I’ve tried just about everything with limited success. I have thought for a while now that there is something else going on and his owners agree. The question is, what? At first we were reluctant to have the vet out again since there wasn’t anything obvious or acute to report. I did manage to catch my vet while he was out for someone else and fit in a couple words about Willy (somewhat of a no-no, but I did it anyway). I said he was displaying new, worse behaviour (the head tossing, etc) and planned to try bitless for a couple weeks. He thought that was a good idea. But it has been several weeks with no change (without and with bits) so a vet will be out to see him Sunday.

Right before I left for my trip last week, I noticed a lump on his cheek/jowl area a little smaller than a golf ball. It seems superficial but was not there the day before, so I was very worried to be going away. I returned to a horse that ignored and even walked away from me when I went to get him. Will never does this. He always watches me, even if he doesn’t come to me, and he never walks away. He was also missing both hind shoes and was covered in sweat head-to-toe with just a rainsheet. The temperature was an uncharacteristic 15-16 degrees, so it was understandable, but I still felt like a horrible horse mom.

The next day, I was told that after I left Willy stood in his turnout pawing the air, often with his head cocked to the side, for about 3 hours. The owner went out to check on him a couple times and he stopped while she was there. Nothing seemed amiss and he wasn’t even digging! He would start up again soon after she left.

The riding has remained pretty much the same – not normal with his head/mouth but he seems to be trying. He doesn’t really head-toss under saddle anymore but he will do it on the crossties, in his stall, and in turnout. His temperature has been normal and he is eating well and playing like normal.

I will not divulge my secrets!

Today he had his feet trimmed and reset. I wasn’t there until a bit later and was told upon arrival that both his cheeks are now swollen. So it seems that the swelling isn’t directly related to that lump on his right cheek (which is still there and possibly bigger than a couple days ago). I couldn’t bear to ride – I just felt too guilty even thinking about it. So I free lunged instead. Although neither of us have ever done it, he was brilliant. He mostly acted like he was on a lunge line and responded well to my verbal and body cues. Good boy! 

All I can say is that I really, really hope the vet can find some answers for me.

Cautiously Optimistic. On bits, hay, and coaches.

I decided I needed to take a step back with respect to WIlly's weird mouth issues.  I borrowed a bitless bridle from my friend and plan to use that for the next couple weeks. I think perhaps I didn't give him enough time to recover, though I did try by giving him time off, riding bitless and using wrapped/rubber/happy mouth in the meantime. At least this way I can remove the bit as a possible source of discomfort and hopefully start with a clean baseline.

My first bitless ride (since the one a week and a half ago) was Wednesday. When I brought Willy in I could already tell he was better. I can't really articulate the difference but I'm sure most of you know what I mean. He was himself again. I tacked up and off we went.

He's generally been a lot better this week on all fronts and the last few rides have been a lot better too. I think, in part, something had resolved itself and that his improvement was reinforced by keeping the bit out of his mouth. Still, he did some very minor head bobbing at the very end of the last two rides (bitless) while I was cooling him out.

I do wish bitless bridles were a little more...refined. It's hard to pinpoint what I don't love about them. I've used a bitless now and then with both Brumby and Willy. The bridles available to me are synthetic, Nurtural bridles. I like the design but the problems I find are that it's hard to know how the release and take translates to the horse (I wish the release of the cross pieces under the jaw was more pronounced, for example). I find them fairly crude in terms of contact. The synthetic material also makes his face sweat more and this irritates him. Aside from that, I'm glad I have an option to turn to.
~~~
On another note, the lab results of our hay tests are in! I'm working on translating that into what he is actually consuming nutritionally, with the help of some information Jason passed on a few months ago (thanks Jason!). It's a bit of a slow process as I haven't had much time. I spent last night getting ALL the info into spreadsheets which should greatly facilitate my calculations and make any future changes/updates etc. easier to incorporate.

I seem to recall Jason saying something to the effect that determining a horse's nutritional requirements and/or intake is based on a whole lot of assumptions. As I begin sorting through everything in earmest I sure can see what he means. At least the assumptions are based on logical estimates and therefore have to be better than nothing!

I'm really looking forward to getting a better handle on Willy's feed. I'll post more about this soon.

~~~

As of today, I officially have a new coach! I know I've hinted about this change but it's been a mentally and emotionally taxing process and I just haven't had the umph to blog about it yet. But now that I have secured coaching from my first choice when I thought about getting a new coach, I am feeling optimistic and excited for the future. Hopefully I'll still have a reader or two to read all about it!
 ~~~

Ok, that's my update. Oh, and I'm working almost every weekend in March. Ugh!! I`m conducting some research and we will be more successful scheduling participants on the weekends so...yeah. I'm just trying to focus on the accrual of some much-needed lieu time!

Willy is...a punk rocker.

Well, we still have mysterious head tossing. It is annoying and worrisome in equal measure. I've ridden twice with the copper bit and although it is not worse, it is not better. It's a single joint and so I can't be fully sure that the lack of improvement is because he prefers a double-jointed bit. This is where I get into the minutia which probably matters more to me than to the horse. But there is no way to know.

He head bobs on the cross-ties. He head bobs under saddle. He does settle down during rides but any time I take a walk break it starts up again. He spent a few minutes biting on a blanket bar outside a stall before the ride. Not cribbing, just holding it between his teeth and occasionally doing a kind of chewing motion. From what I could tell he was using a fair bit of jaw pressure. I let him do it for a few minutes because it was odd and I was trying to see if I could learn anything from it.  Nada. I have no idea what it was about.

A few people are trying to convince me that he's just trying to evade work. While I agree that horses often learn this, I don't think that's the case since he only started the head bobbing a week ago, immediately after our first ride with the wrapped bit. He still had to work the next day and the day after that, so I really don't think he learned to evade.

I can't shake the feeling something else is going on. I have no idea what but that little kernel of doubt won't leave me alone. I have a few bitting options left and if they don't help we will have the vet back out. Seems weird that it's worse since the diagnosis of metal sensitivity, doesn't it? Especially since he hasn't been exposed to that metal since.

I'm at a loss, I really am. My coach (well, technically former coach sorta-kinda - whole 'nother post there!) assured me on Friday that I have steady hands and nothing I'm doing could be causing this. I needed to be sure and I know without a doubt she would tell me otherwise. I should feel more confident in this since I've been with him about 8 months at this point, but I still needed to hear it.

As it stands, my theories are: a) Willy is a punk rocker, or b) brain parasite. Good reasons as any, at this point :-/

Looking My Gift Horse in the Mouth.

"Maybe he wasn't meant to be a horse," says the Barn/Willy's owner. I laugh, ruefully.

In the last week, I've tried a few new options to make Will comfortable and I'm afraid it's not going well. I was given 4 doses of dexamethasone to give to Will one dose/day, every other day, to help with the inflamation in his mouth. During this time, I rode bitless and gave him several days off. I wanted to make sure he had a chance to normalize before starting my bit experimentation.

My initial thoughts on how to proceed were pretty basic: a) stay away from any metal for awhile, and b) try not to purchase bits without knowing if they will work for Will! I was worried that any metal could contain whatever the metal was that Will was reacting to and since I didn't know exactly what that was (though I suspected nickel), it would be best to avoid altogether. The next "rule" was purely practical as this could be an expensive venture if I purchased everything I wanted to try.

I also decided that I would need to get to know what his mouth was like if I was going to be able to tell if he was ok or not. I know how his legs, feet, eyes, etc look on a daily basis but have never before inspected his mouth! Every day for the last week I briefly inspect his mouth, mostly feel his bars. Honestly, I have NO idea what's normal in there. Hopefully in time...

The first day after his last dose, I rode in a Happy Mouth shaped mullen mouth that another boarder kindly lent to me.

The ride went ok. The bit test was slightly confounded because Willy had too much energy from his extra days off, plus I've never had him in a non-jointed mouth piece before and have almost exclusively ridden him in a double-jointed bit. I got the sense that any weirdness was due to the configuration of the bit, not the composition. Still, the Happy Mouth was inconclusive. I have a bias though - I admit Happy Mouth is my least favorite option since it is plastic, and an "apple-scented" one at that. I will get whatever Willy likes best, of course and without reservation, but I would be happier if it weren't a Happy Mouth.

In the meantime, I contacted Stubben to find out the composition of the "Steeltec" part of the bit I had been using. Turns out it is:

Iron 70%

Chrome 18 %

Nickel 12 %

So I think my nickel suspicion was correct.

Next, I decided to try the "simplest" option that Dr. B repeatedly mentioned, which was to wrap it. Initially, I thought the vet had recommended vet wrap but actually it was another onlooker who said that. I remembered correctly later, but apparently was taking in too much information at the time. I did try vet wrap the very first ride after diagnosis with mixed results. In any case, I soon learned of Sealtex, a thin latex sheet that can be cut and molded to just about anything.

So, on the evening after trying out the first happy mouth I went on a foray to my favorite tack shop, Apple Saddlery. I found some Sealtex and at only $10 decided to pick some up. I also bought a D-ring single jointed copper bit. Yes, I said I didn't want to buy a bunch of bits BUT my DH Alex pointed out that he can analyze the bit and get the metal composition of it. This meant I could be sure that the copper bit (which was a vet recommendation) contained no nickel and, if it did, return it for full refund.The analysis of the copper bit showed it to be (within error):

Copper 90%

Zinc 5%

Tin 5%
I was happy to see the very high copper content. Of course, this is what you'd expect with an "all copper" bit but I was prepared for worse. I was encouraged to see no nickel in the mix, so I will give this bit a go in due course.

For the next day, I decided to try the wrapping approach.Of course, I recognized that this wrapping job, even at it's simplest, would tax my patience. I'm not proud of it but I definitely have limitations when it comes to annoying detailed work like that. I wanted to ask Alex...but kinda didn't want to ask, at the same time.

There are definite advantages to loving someone who knows you very well. When Alex saw me with a bit and sealtex in hand, he essentially asked me if I'd have enough patience to accomplish the task - without actually saying those words. He managed to phrase it so that it was completely non-offensive and was simply a recognition of our relative strengths. I gladly relinquished the task to him (ha-ha!) and appreciated the result immensely. I can't believe I didn't get a picture.

Tuesday was my first ride with the wrapped bit and it went well. I could tell he was a little weird about it but it wasn't clear whether something was still actively bothering him or if it was just the difference in feel with the latex wrap (or if that itself was irritating). After the ride while on cross-ties, he started bobbing his head. This is not something he has ever done before and it made me think it was a response to being uncomfortable but since it only started after the ride I thought it was possible he was just anxious to get back outside.

Wednesday I used the wrapped bit again, since it seemed pretty good the day before. The head tossing began the minute I put Will on cross-ties and continued through the beginning part of the ride. It was an awful situation since there was no real reason why the wrapped bit should be irritating him (I had only a very light, consistent contact) so I didn't want to let him learn that head tossing got him out of work but I also didn't want to ignore his signals of discomfort. So hard! He did settle in and we had a good ride but the head tossing started again as soon as I dismounted to cool him out. After, I handwalked him outside and he kept rubbing his mouth on the snow over and over. Clearly he is uncomfortable.


I am so discouraged. I know I have several options left but it is worrisome that he is still having issues even with the bit wrapped. I guess it's unbearable to know my horse is still uncomfortable or in pain and not be able to fix it right away.

I am trying the copper bit tomorrow - wish us luck!